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BRUNO - Aka...Honestly, Honey...That IS fully erect!!

By Abzug - Posted on 26 July 2009

Alan Funt.

Don’t know who that is? It is Bruno’s fadder…you Myopic, Infantile, Generation Sushi, Fucking Fuck!!

I went into this movie passionate about three things:

My love of accounting.

My love of Fergie Jenkins.

And My love of any brunette woman without the herp or the aid.
But, as happened to ‘Brad’ in The Rocky Horror Picture Show…something wicked is overtaking me...

I came out of this movie roaming the streets of my fair city –Garmin fired up -looking to satisfy my latent homosexual love laments from junior high school that had resurfaced in less than two hours. And if it takes an extra $30 to make it happen….well, that is just fine by me.

Is that wrong?

Maybe, but prevailing American public opinion is that – if you believe anything outrageous – be prepared to be the butt of the joke – because Abzug and Mr. Cohen are both smarter than the rest of you – and WE will decide when and where to cross the line. And WE’LL let you know if there even IS a fucking line.

In Bruno, as in Borat, Sasha Baron Cohen, plays another foreigner on a mission in the USA. This time, it is Bruno, the uber-host of an Austrian show called Funkytime.- an “in your face - gay fashionista” show.

If subtlety is your thing, just keep on driving. Oh, and if you are looking for a story arc…do the same. This is a movie in name only. It is more like an extended SNL skit based solely around homo-erotic absurdities.

Everything is copasetic until Bruno’s all-velcro runway outfit catches everything it touches and faux irritated-hilarity ensues. Bruno is banned from the fashion reporting industry and kicked off of Funkytime.

Bruno Gehard’s (gay-hard) quest – as with most other Americans that would actually spend money to watch this movie - is to become a megastar in the USA, and this is when the fun (and the beauty) of this movie begins to continue.

Bruno takes these “unassuming” morons and parades them for our enjoyment – allowing us to flex our moral and intellectual superiority.

I think Mr. Gehard is one of the hottest “19” year olds I have ever seen. His hot ass, nice uber-cock and, er… I mean uh, ...back to the movie review.

As Bruno is attempting to become an American celebrity, he is willing to do anything including rectal bleaching. The answer to the age old question – untold even in the annals of Wikipedia; how do porn stars keep their exit hole, oh, so sweet and clean?

Let’s just say that we are all smarter than ANY of these people and we should thank Yahweh – The Messiah of The Media –Yes, the god of the Jews - that we have a brilliant satirizer to bring this diminutive factoid to the surface.

After all - this is what we brilliant satirizers do.

Bruno also takes delivery of an “African American” baby via cardboard box, goes on a Springer type talk show and announces that he has named the baby O.J.

I personally think it would have been funnier had they taped his wee little hands to the steering wheel of a mini-Ford Bronco and remotely driven him off a cliff. But who is Abzug to give suggestions to the genius of Mr. Cohen.

Ok, this is a constant practical joke on a grand scale. Bruno plays everyone for their weakness (or strength rather) including a gay converter that is driven by, you guessed it, religion.

You can’t get any better confrontation than this, real wrath of god stuff. Religion truly equals brainwashing on an incredibly ostentatious scale and these idiots prove it.

Yes, Abzug is an atheist. Which makes me – SURPRISE – a lot smarter than you.

This movie demonstrates that people accept others - to a point.

I love my hetero-lifemates. But if Old Dan Cedar or King Hippo informs me that they play for the other team, we might make sweet passionate love once - but that will be the end of that.

You can accidentally stumble upon the Batcave by happenstance, but there is no finding your way back.

But, wait. I have my GPS on...

I will be Burt Ward if you will be Adam West.

Bruno is one fucking funny movie that never lets up on making me laugh, ponder and respect the over the top homo.

Now, I must go!!

My GPS says that I should take a right at the next red light.

Get ready boys!!

Abuzug just filled his 30 day supply of Cialis and just got paid!!

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